(via forwhenifeellikesharing)
“Hello?
“Yes hello, I was wondering if I could speak to your editor?”
“May I ask what it’s regarding?”
“Well you see I was standing outside in my underwear having a smoke when that fire started over at 176th and Wadsworth yesterday…”
“Uh huh”
“And well, I called 911 to report the fire and I was just reading about it in the Post and well…no one called to get my name.”
“I’m sorry? I don’t understand.”
“Well, you see I called in the fire and you didn’t mention me in the article.”
“Why would we mention you? Did you start the fire?”
“No it was electrical I think.”
“Why would we mention you?”
“Well I called it in”
“Are you a fucking retard?”
“I am actually.”
“Oh thank god, I thought you were just some nut.”
“No I’m a giant fucking dipshit.”
“Cool.”
-click-